I came ... I saw ... I could not conquer!

Nevertheless, he became a darling of the column writers of the country as he continues to supply them with material for writing post-editorials and commentaries. Each episode is proving to be more interesting than the previous one. Writers never get tired of writing about him, and interestingly, readers are also not showing any signs of boredom reading the stuff.

The CEC is also hot property at the moment as far as creating news is concerned and therefore a favourite of the media of the country. A news editor heaves a sigh of relief if anything on the CEC comes to his table. In fact he becomes ecstatic since he will not have to worry about the lead story for that evening. He has got one! Cartoonists are also in hot demand these days. And critics say that there is a permanent tent outside the office of CEC where reporters from the print and electronic media live to cover his every move.

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The words and deeds of the CEC have entertainment value of pristine quality. His latest encounter with none other than the powerful finance minister (FM) reminded us of the heavyweight boxing bouts between Mohammad Ali and Sonny Liston. The left hooks and upper cuts of the finance minister were deftly dodged by the CEC. The FM also foiled all attempts of the CEC to hit him below the belt. It was an interesting fight, indeed, and we have been immensely entertained.

The CEC also has rare in-built magnetic properties in him that has greatly astounded scientists. They have shown interest to go over his body to find out why he is stuck to his chair at the EC and cannot be removed no matter how hard everyone tries! The interesting part is that he seems to be enjoying his predicament! He does not want to go!

It has been reported that some senior citizens have offered to meet all the expenses of the CEC once he agrees to go home. But, once unemployed how will he get money to pull on! No problem, scream the senior citizens. They have suggested collecting toll, if need be, to raise the money. It seems the only ploy to get the CEC out left to the citizens is marching down to the EC office at Agargaon and to cry and wail loudly standing before him. The tears from a thousand eyes might finally help unglue him from that favourite chair there. We are yet to hear from the CEC on this issue.

More entertainers
The great Shaikh and Bangla Bhai continue to sing their special brand of songs to entertain the neighbours in a residential area in the city. They are allegedly getting the same treatment that a son-in-law traditionally gets from his in-laws in this country.

Know what! They are living inside air-cooled rooms! And they get chicken legs and mutton curry and fish curry all the time! Oh, did you know that they have been given death sentence for creating anarchy throughout the country and murdering some innocent people? And according to the law of the land they should be living in the condemned cells in the central jail?

But, wait. The law minister says that everything about them is being done according to law! Now, cynics are being cynical about this comment of the minister. They want to know whether hiring a house to keep murderers with death sentence hanging over their head is lawful! Whether the one-storied house in the fringe of the city with only four or five security people on guard is more secure than the central jail! And whether such criminals should get air-coolers is what the law says!

Don't bother about the cynics. They always ask cynical questions and that is what they do for a living. Keep doing what you are doing. This is a free-for-all country and once you are in power you have the license to do anything for five years. For five years you stuff your ears with sterile cotton so that nothing can reach the inner ear. You also wear dark glasses and sit inside darkened cars so that you cannot see anything clearly. After five years, go abroad with your entire family and wait for the next opportunity. It will come eventually.

Shahnoor Wahid is Senior Assistant Editor of The Daily Star.