THE GOOD FOOD GUIDE

A winter wedding is every bride's dream. The temperate climate - the pleasant wintery, evening breeze – is one of the most important factors that constitute the idea of a gala wedding. No matter how many times the elders ponder on the probable menu, it is a constant struggle between the yearning for perfection and affordability. And add to that growing anxiety, it is not only the biye or walima that demands special attention. Every ritual, starting from the 'panchini' to the 'firani', requires meticulous attention to detail. So, let us cut to the chase.

PANCHINI
The show-starter! It could literally mean the 'wali' and family of the bride's side saying yes formally to the groom's side and vice versa. A tradition seeped in culture and the piety of the families committed to unite in a social bond. 

Sadly, the cultural baggage element tends to dominate. Like most other wedding rituals, the emotions are now lost in a heap of extravagance. But some still strive to keep it simple with traditional trays and baskets adorned with betel leaf, betel nut and sweetened chewing tobacco. Served with light refreshments. 

In the old parts of Dhaka, masala milk is often the star treat, perfect for chilly weathers or cold nights. Some 'deshi' readers might fondly recall, as it's often a sweet drink served to children on auspicious times or family get-togethers. 

The name of this drink is quite misleading as there are no spicy ingredients used. Masala milk is simple; a sweet, nutty hot drink that is steeped with the gorgeous flavours of cardamom and a pinch of saffron. The soothing taste and temperature are both perfectly suited to lull you away into world where the Mughals reigned the land. 

BRIDAL SHOWER
This is a foreign import straight from Victorian England. Here 
are some dos and don'ts -

The best way to go about it is to get everyone together 

and ask what each person wants to help with instead of assigning duties. Remind guests that the shower is an all ages affair, and while something tongue-in-cheek will probably go over okay,  avoid anything outright naughty.

Having some type of food is a must, whether it's inspired by breakfast for dinner or dessert. Consider making some of the main dishes and then supplement it with catering additions, or have other guests contribute as a potluck. 

As long as the party doesn't cover all of dinnertime light snacks or hors d'oeuvres or a continental array of pastries, fruit and coffee are plenty. Just let guests know on the invite so they're prepared. 

'I do' – the akht
In Bangladesh, the Akht is not only a religious matter but also serves as a legal declaration of marriage recognised by the state. Following traditional Islamic customs, the bride and groom share fruit of the date palm. Since this is a small get-together with just immediate family and close friends, this usually adds up to 50-70 people. In order to make things a little easier, you can have the pulao ordered from a caterer. But this is essentially your mother's event. She has dreamt of her baby girl's big day since the day she held you for the first time. This is when she will be making her signature dishes, welcoming the son in law and his wedding entourage.

Since this should ideally take place at home and is also for a smaller guest list, dessert items can also come in a lot of varieties. Consider having sweetened rice cakes, homemade kheer or just about anything to satiate the sweet-tooth after a hearty yet simple meal. 

Mehendi
A gathering only for the women folk this is an evening dedicated to wearing,  decorating the hands with henna, listening and dancing to the Bollywood classic (read: cheesy) wedding songs. As the guest list is small, home-cooked meal is again an option here. Keep it casual with khichuri, beef bhuna, begun achari and perhaps a special fish curry, and you're all set! 

For dessert, opt for something quick and dry like coconut barfi or murabba because most guests would be sitting down to put on henna after dinner.

Holud
Now we move onto something a little more traditional, yet with a contemporary twist– the joint holud.  Street foods at weddings have become a staple. And as they say, 'winter is coming,' so bring on the piping hot 'chitoi'; the bhaapa and not to mention, spiced 'jhalmuri' – we are after all huge fans of serving street food at holuds. And a recent novelty is the pani-puri, which is catching up on the scene. Serve the water ice-cold in a shot glass. All the guests need to do is gulp it quickly and follow up with a puri 'chaser.' It's a fun and cool way to enjoy the best of street food! That too in a cheerful ambiance. 

Traditionally, 'gaye holud' did not serve heavy meals. Traditional snacks, munchies, teas and maybe coffee was the order of the day. Keep it to it. With a long series of events on the way, let's give the stomachs of the invitees a space to 'breathe.'

Finally, the wedding!
Kachchi can never go wrong. In reality, it is the quintessential wedding dish that has etched a mark in the wedding scene of Dhaka. To add a touch of variation, you can make way for a course dinner beginning with sautéed vegetables, warm paratha followed by tandoori chicken, the kachchi, cooked to perfection by the seasoned chef with aloo-bukhara on the side. And to gulp it all down the sweet-and-sour borhani.

And the walima!
If the bridal party opts for the kachchi, skip it altogether just to give the taste buds of the invitees a respite. Remember even a humble chicken biriyani, in the hands of the culinary wizard, can tantalise the palate just as much. Some add fried pomfret, for a subtle variation. And of course, every wedding meal should be followed by a 'khili' of sweetened paan.

Truth be told this is just the tip of the iceberg of all the events that go behind the seasons of a lavish, successful deshi weddings. Regional variations exist and so does religious variants. But the recipe to a delightful wedding is simple – less extravagance, lot of love, emotion, and hopes and dreams of a new beginning.

By Mannan Mashhur Zarif
Photo: Sazzad Ibne Sayed
Food prepared by Watercress