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Our society has double standards for men and women.Photo: AP
Men in Bangladesh take an awful lot for granted. We take it for granted that we can walk down the street without harassment. We take it for granted that we can come and go late into the night. We take it for granted that we can dress pretty much as we please. We take it for granted that we can travel alone without fear for our safety. Most men never think for a moment what it must be like to not be able to take such simple freedoms for granted, and what it must be like to have to negotiate, every minute of every single day, the boundaries of what one is able to do or say, to constantly negotiate the very parameters of one's existence. When we talk about women's rights and women's equality, it is not merely a question of women's education, women's employment, women's health, etc. These are all, without doubt, absolutely crucial issues, and the advances made in these areas stand as an achievement the nation can rightfully be proud of, even though there remains so much room for improvement. But more than these macro-issues, what I would like to focus on today is, for want of a better word, the micro-issues. These are the issues that too many men dismiss as somehow trivial or unimportant. But they are very far from that. They only appear trivial to us because we take them for granted. Being able to walk down the street without being harassed is only a trivial concern for someone who does not have to suffer it. What each one of us needs to look at very critically is his (or, for that matter, her) own complicity in the hostile environment that exists for women and what steps each one of us can take to make things better. Ultimately, it comes down to us, to society, to our attitudes and assumptions. The attitude that accepts that it is appropriate to have dress codes for women, but not for men. The attitude that accepts that it is inappropriate for women to smoke in public, but not for men. The attitude that accepts that it is considered impermissible for women to live alone, but not for men. These double standards and unspoken assumptions and prejudices that permeate our society are the problems, and a national conversation on the issue is long overdue. Our entire society is saturated, from top to bottom, with corrosive and toxic attitudes that we need to examine and discuss and question and ultimately move beyond. We may say: I don't think that way. But perhaps unwittingly we do contribute to the perpetuation of such attitudes. We need to stand up. We need to challenge others. It is not enough to not harass, we need to stand up and challenge those who do or those who condone it. It is not enough to say that we believe in women's rights and equality and empowerment. When we hear a comment or see someone do something that demeans women or dismisses them, we need to challenge it. Because unspoken complicity is how attitudes and assumptions are formed and harden into conventional wisdom and culture. And that is the problem: the attitudes, the assumptions, the culture we have created. This is why I think that the Ey Poth Amadero (The Road is Also Ours) walk tomorrow is such a good idea. It focuses on one very simple right, but the implications of that one right and what the denial of it means for our society and the women who live in it are immense. It is not just about employment and education. It is about simple respect and dignity. If we were to acknowledge the dignity deficit that exists in our society for women, and ensure that women are afforded the same respect and dignity that men are, then everything else would fall into place. We like to think that in our culture we do respect women, but the simple truth of the matter is that, as a society, we do not. The evidence of this disrespect is all around us, but one way we can work to change things is by extending to women the simple freedom to walk the streets without harassment. It's a worthy goal and I hope that you will all support it.
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