Department of election engineering, blessed heroin money...

Retired and rejected politicians having decades of experience in election engineering are joining these institutes as teachers. As they are self-declared patriots, having served the nation in many unknown and unseen ways, they want the new generation to know all about this useful subject. The committee also declared that scholarships will be offered to foreign students so that they may also learn the tricks. They will work as true patriots after returning to their respective countries with the degree.

Blessed heroin money
This is worth a thought or two. All these years these smugglers of heroin were your next door neighbours! Your sons and daughters had befriended their sons and daughters, and went to the same school or college. They are a hospitable lot. On special occasions they sent sweets to your house. There is no way one can cast a shadow of doubt on them. They went to the same mosque with you every Friday to pray to the Almighty. You have always prayed for the well-being of your near and dear ones and for His blessings so that you may live a decent life free of any blemish. What did the smugglers pray for? What did they want from God? More deals to send deadly poison to some foreign country? More money so that their own sons and daughters may live in comfort while young men and women of their age died elsewhere? Isn't it therefore worth diving in to the fathomless depth of the minds of these people, these smugglers of heroin, who lived amongst us?

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Our speculation regarding a nexus between these people and some political party of questionable antecedents is slowly turning in to reality. It won't be long when the entire story will come out. If there is a grain of truth in it then we wonder how the preachers of piety could accept the money that smelled of death? Or is it that whatever they touch, like heroin money, becomes sanctified by some divine order?

Your castle in the air
Biman Bangladesh Airline's slogan says "Your home in the sky." Doesn't it sound a bit similar to "building a castle in the air?" Castle is from 'casa' in Italian, which means home. How amazingly close in meaning the two are! Many fools after a great deal of trial and error discovered that air was not too dependable a place to build one's castle. It does not provide a solid base for the structure to stand long enough. They disintegrate as soon as you build them. In case of Biman, the home in the sky is also standing on shaky foundation, full of air, and that's why those homes are disappearing one after another from the face of the earth. Sadly, the last bastion of our pride in New York is strongly rumoured to be on the verge of disappearance.

No, David Copperfield or David Blaine or PC Sarker Junior or even our very own Jewel Aich did not do the vanishing act. Biman's own people did it, over the years, slowly but steadily, bit by bit, bite by bite. And now they are waiting to devour the carcass. They are happy. Very happy, indeed. They have had a good meal. They are bloated beyond recognition. Many of them have made it from rustic Baliapara to restful Baridhara in lightning speed. Every time they say their prayer they thank the Almighty profusely for having had blessed them with a Biman job. It was little short of giving them a ticket to heaven. Heaven can wait, for the moment they are busy having a meal on earth.

Compare the irony, dear readers. When other airlines are expanding and offering us incredible discounts and still making profit, Biman, after having eaten up the profit much before going in to operation, opts to close down to avoid incurring loss.

Singer Bangla Bhai
Wait for the grand entry of this new sensational singer named Siddiqur Rahman alias Bangla Bhai in the music arena of the country. Never heard of him, you say? Wait till his CD comes out. The judges, prosecutors and some 'almost infidels' in a Jhalkathi court have had the rare privilege of listening to this singer crooning in sheer delight of being put on trial in the court of the hated mortals. Whether there was melody in his song or was it only malady, I cannot say for sure at the moment. Anyway, he exposed his holy yellow teeth and sang the Bengali version turned JMB version of the English song "We shall overcome..." His Bengali version translated in to English will sound like "JMB will overcome..."

What a meaningful song! What a powerful voice to inspire all of us in this country and even beyond! I am sure all the presidents and prime ministers from the first world to the eleventh world have been inspired by his song. His voice has not been missed either in our capital by those drafting the laws on how to try the terrorists. It was on one of the channels the other day. After hearing the inspirational song they too are feeling helpless. Since JMB is so confident that it will overcome one day then what's the use of toiling for months to create laws that will be of no use in the end? Better, let us all go and sing in chorus with Bangla Bhai.... "We shall overcome..."!

Shahnoor Wahid is a Senior Assistant Editor of The Daily Star.