Caught on the wrong foot
THAILAND has no literature, no painting and has an odd kind of music. Its architecture is monotonous and its interior decorations are hideous. Nobody can deny that gambling and golf are its chief pleasures. Thais are lewd and licentious."
"Africans as a whole are not only averse to cutting their nose to spite their face. They regard such an operation as a triumph of cosmetic surgery."
"Rio de Janeiro is damn badly run with corruption so rampant that you can buy anything from a driving license to a High Court judge."
"Nicaraguans are the most dishonest, unreliable, violent and alcoholic people. Brazilians are still second-rate."
"The values of Egyptian middle class could best be understood through enduring popularity of ITV's Edwardian drama 'Upstairs, Downstairs' representing a nostalgic evocation of a society that still flourished in their lifetime.
"Canadians are deeply unimpressive and have no talent."
Please don't panic. These atrocious and amusing comments are not mine. These are observations made by former distinguished British envoys about their host countries in Bangkok, Nigeria, Cairo, Rio, Nicaragua and Ottawa, contained in their valedictory letters to Whitehall, the British foreign office at the end of their overseas postings. The British envoy based in New Delhi, however, expressed frustrations of dull monotony of attending 'exasperating receptions and cocktail parties in pin stripe suits.' The tradition of writing such letters, which began five decades, ago has been suspended since 2006 when a leak of such a letter caused embarrassment to the foreign office. The letters were recently released to BBC under the Freedom of Information laws of Britain. The disclosure of these letters have since been circulated by the Associated Press and carried by some British and American newspapers.
Beneath the dignified surface of international relations, the dark humour of these observations about national characteristics of various countries, if anything, is not diplomatic but rude, unfair and in bad taste. These are sweeping generalisations betraying a typical highbrow superiority complex, and a contemptuous and condescending attitude of British diplomats. The function of a diplomat is to send objective and accurate reports about the political, economic, social and cultural condition of a host country, and it is not the business of a well-meaning diplomat to portray arbitrary and disparaging labels of a nation in one broad sweep. Apparently, the British diplomats, short of prescience, have been caught on the wrong foot. The disclosure will certainly cause deep resentment and rage in the concerned countries and thus, it may take a little while to repair the damage and restore normal relations.
British diplomats are proverbially known to be cold, reticent and remote. It is time they, obsessed with the paean of British virtues, eschewed atavistic colonial predilections and abandoned their self-serving elite mentality to better serve the interest of their country. The English Writer E.M. Forster famously said, 'British diplomats educated in Eton, Harrow and Oxbridge come out with well-developed bodies, fairly developed minds but undeveloped hearts.' He could not be any truer.
Abdul Hannan is a contributor to the Daily Star.
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