Awards of a different tinge, why not?
AWARDS are fascinating things. The stage, the podium, the glitter, the gab, the crest, the clapping, the camera lights and the microphones create a magical realm where the awardee is the king of the moment. All over the world there are many different kinds of awards given to people for many different qualifications, traits and accomplishments.
There is Oscar award there. There is Suritola Baybshaee Samity award here. Both are important by their own right. It is claimed that one Dhakaia businessman of Suritola, while giving awards to players in a table tennis tournament, wanted to give an award to the hen that had laid the strong egg that the players could not break in two hours!
In the world out there, people get awards for climbing the highest mountains, and then again get them for eating 50 hamburgers in one go. There is beer drinking competition and a competition where competitors spit watermelon seeds across a line. One who sends it the farthest gets the award. There are TV shows where competitors get awards for eating earthworms, cockroaches and so on to spoil the appetite of the viewers.
There are best movie and worst movie awards. People get awards for being best and worst dressed persons. Then they get prizes for being delightfully on the heavy side and also for having the worst/funniest hairstyle! And such weird-award giving ceremonies are never short of screaming and shouting audiences enjoying every bit of the bizarre manifestation before their eyes.
Award giving ceremonies are big events in people's lives. Men and women, especially celebrities, become ecstatic for being nominated for awards. They faint, they feign, they freak out. But there are some who are never happy, even after getting many awards in their lifetime. There are cynics too. Famous American actress Barbara Streisand once said: "Most awards, you know, they don't give you unless you go and get them -- did you know that? Terribly discouraging."
You get awards for coming out first or second in exams. And no one thinks about those who get Cs, except, of course, George W. Bush. Listen to what he had said: "To those of you who received honours, awards and distinctions, I say well done. And to the C students, I say you, too, can be president of the United States." (Source: Think exist.com). Well if that is the downside of awards then contemplate a while after reading the following line.
"Awards become corroded, friends gather no dust." Said Philo, Socrates, Confucius? No, brother. This beautiful and profound line came from Jesse Owens, the American athlete, who was 4-time gold medalist in track and field at the 1936 Olympic Games. What wisdom of an athlete! Wish our politicians and intellectuals could speak like this, that we could quote again and again. What our political friend from Chittagong says every now and then sitting in his Dhanmondi residence also gets quoted frequently. But do you need wisdom to say such things? No. All you need is a reckless tongue.
Ah, you ask, what goaded me to write on Awards this morning? Well, it was the nagging thought of introducing different kinds of awards in this country in recognition of the traits and accomplishment of some people who remain unawarded till today. They have been diligent in "doing" and steadfast in "saying" things that many of us would not be able to do or say. They are of a special breed, so, don't they deserve to be awarded?
Consider my proposals and let me have your opinions. We should have awards for the category of "Best Dodger." And who else but most of our politicians would win them for successfully avoiding payment of laundry, mudi dokan, machhwala, dimwala, telephone, gas, electricity and parliament canteen bills? They have been dodging for decades and now can open a training centre to teach how to dodge bill collectors. The second best in the competition would be some of our industrialists who talk big on TV but do small things behind to dodge payment of government bills.
Many of those belonging to the political fraternity would also take away all the prizes for the category of "Worst Fibber." Well, the amount of "non-truths" they have to say everyday for not keeping their election pledges should earn them such prizes. Then we propose the award "Windbag." Some of the participants in the torturous TV talk shows -- teachers, politicians, bureaucrats, journalists, writers -- would surely bag all of them. ''Compulsive Consultant" is the category we should introduce for the intellectuals who are seen in all UN and NGO offices with their conspicuous laptops. They are there whatever government is in power.
"Jail Bird" award should go to some of our leaders who never miss an opportunity of going to jail. Then who else but the (in)famous lawmaker would bag the award called "Somersault" for his acrobatic skill in jumping on board of the caravan of every government. "Sleepy Selwar" is a newly introduced award to glorify leaders who tend to fall off to sleep during meetings or who pay no heed when things tend to fall off around him.
Well, there would be more next time, but first I need to know whether introduction of such awards would cleanse our conscience a little. See you in the next award giving ceremony.
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